today is thanksgiving..a day to give thanks for the things we have. i am having a hard time with finding something to be thankful for. the head of the agency i work for sent us an email and asked us to find five things we are grateful for..she listed five things for herself. IP we did an exercise where we thought of things we are grateful for that our body does for us.
1. i am grateful i have a mind where i can imagine my hopes & dreams for the future.
2. i am grateful for my feet and the place they can take me (& how cute they are!)
3. i am grateful for my nose so i can smell my grandmother's cooking.
4. i am grateful for my ears. they give me the ability to hear the beauty of music.
5. i am grateful for my stomach because one day i will be able to have children.
my family had the traditional thanksgiving dinner today. i felt like i overate. i had turkey, my aunts mashed potatoes (she makes them with what seems like a pound of butter), corn and stuffing along with pumpkin pie for dessert. i vowed that ED would not be a part of today. that he would not ruin my thanksgiving. as of 5:21 pm so far that is true. it was hard, i will tell you that. sitting with the fullness, the discomfort and never ending thoughts that i ate too much, i indulged and am not worthy of the deliciousness on my plate. just like anyone else, i am worthy of nourishment.
remember: full is NOT a feeling. & when talking about a food, relate it to a feeling. (thought my frew crew would giggle at this)
oh i forgot to mention..today my cousin's father in-law called me by my mom's name by accident when he greeted me. then everyone laughed and called me my mom's "mini me". this seriously annoyed me/angered me. i try so so so hard to not be like my mom.dont get me wrong, i love the woman to death and she has done so much for me, but i want to be my own person. i dont want to be so uptight and rigid like her. i dont want to feel like i need to control everyone and everything in the world. i want to be ME. maybe i should let it roll off my back and try not to focus on it. hmmph.
so what are YOU grateful for this holiday?
x to the o,
lis
You rock! I am thankful (a couple days late) for having the opportunity to go to a good college on a scholarship, for being raised in a whole and happy family, for being blessed with terrific friends who have helped me through everything, and for being life and breathing every day.
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