beautiful.

one my lovely friends Cort wrote a note on faceybook about a handout we recieved at the frew..here it is my friends.

"The pursuit of thinness, control and victory was without a doubt a rush--to survive day to day on the thrill of losing weight. So many nights I awoke, terrified, because I'd dreamt I had eaten "bad foods" and pondered whether or not I should go to the bathroom. A fe times I did. The perception of fatness on my body was completely delusional. Depression had led me astray and I couldn't and didn't want to fight. I prefered misery. A lack of wisdom, will and strength is what stood in my way. Anorexia and bulimia are not about food, diet and weight, just as recovery is not equivalent to weight gain. It's a muddled belief about one's identity and a distorted perception of the world around. Anorexia is a seemingly effective way to correct all of this shit. Recovery involves discovering that your beliefs were not only inaccurate, but that they were misleading you towards becoming your ideal, beautiful person. It has taken me a long time to realize that beautiful people are EVERYWHERE. Not because fad diets and eating disorders are promoting weight loss and skinny bodies. People are beautiful by nature, they always have been. The only difference is that I am choosing to redefine beautiful. To see the world through anorexic eyes is as confining as viewing a church service through prison cell bars--you pray for freedom and salvation, knowing that you're trapped. When nothing is beautiful or pleasant, you adapt by compromising yourself. I saw the world through tunnel vision, catching fragmented glimpses of events and people I'd interacted with. I was "the anorexic and bulimic girl" and proud to have such a solid identity. Once I opened my eyes and understood the emptiness of this title, I began to recover. I perceive the world wholly and accept the good and bad parts of it. Beauty is NOT superficial; it is more about attitude. If you allow yourself to see beauty, then it surrounds you! I am more open-minded now than I have ever been in my entire life. I believe that the key to happiness is loving yourself. The world hasn't changed, only I have changed. And because of this, according to my definition, I am a beautiful person."