so i have been on these new meds for lets see...4 days now & it has been hell. the valium is really helping with my anxiety but the effexor...oh em gee. the side effects include: sleeplessness, loss of appetite, and weight loss. like double you tee eff? what was my dr thinking??? he knows about my eating disorder. in 4 days i have lost X lbs. no bueno. it just seems to be setting me even further back than i need to be.
have you ever had a time in your life where every food you think of sounds absolutely repulsing? i am at that place right now. i have no appetite and along with not sleeping at night, i am sleeping all day. i so hope all of this is just temporary because i am miserable. i can feel myself getting weak. i brought my laundry down 2 flights of stairs and my legs felt like they were on fire 1. from not eating and 2. my body is probably feeding off of my muscles. if it doesnt get any better this week i am calling my psychiatrist and telling him this just isnt working.
and along with all of this, i feel like i just want to disappear. i feel like i am a burden or trouble to others. people are getting frustrated with me, including my T, and i am frustrated with myself because only i can make the decision to be in recovery. i am trying to fight to the best of my ability but it doesnt seem to be enough.
sorry again for the negativity...le sigh.
love you all,
lis
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