stability? does it exist? right this very moment i dont think so. i have had the week from hell with various events occur that have left me lost, confused, sad, angry and all of the above. through all of this i cannot find stability. that one thing that is constant. except my eating disorder of course. i find myself all alone to deal with lifes struggles and it is not a pretty sight. people around me are concerned, including mamadukes, and i dont have anything to say. they are looking for answers. some answer to all of this. some answer why. some magical fix. and i cannot give that to them...
recovery is my main goal. but right now my main goal is to BREATHE, keep breathing and survive. because lately, i have been doing none of that. ive been reacting. and not in a good way. i have therapy today and its going to be horrible. this week has been HORRENDOUS and i missed last week due to the stupid white stuff on the ground. so needless to say, we have TONS to cover. i saw my old T on tuesday and he was at a loss of words. i feel like there is no rock bottom for me. it is a bottomless pit. and if you keep digging you will get to china. sorry, had to be witty....
so stabilty? as of right now...it doesnt exist...
hope your thursday is lovely. because you deserve it.
lis
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