tonight at midnight starts of NEDA (National Eating Disorder Association) Week. a week that promotes awareness for eating disorders, their symptoms, and how to stop them...
i find myself this week debating whether to promote the awareness of eating disorders or to stay in mine. yes, i dont want ANYONE else to go through with this...but the ed voice has been so strong lately...telling me losing weight is the only way to go. but he is WRONG. if i lose weight, i
lose everything. school, job, internship, friends, family. its just so hard because its so enticing. to be in a room all alone with just my disorder and i (which i have done for much of the weekend). isolating. not communicating with the world. which i know is not healthy.
as this week approaches i want to have a new attitude. i plan on wearing my "beautiful" shirt from renfrew everyday (if not everyday...i will wash it :P ). this is a horrid disease. it captures so many beautiful men and women that it needs to be spoken about. NEDA's slogan is "let's talk about it..." well really, thats talk about it. to anyone who will listen. make them aware the dangers and suffering.
i may not be 100% pro-recovery but i am trying my best. we all have our ups and downs. hell, i have the recovery symbol tattooed on my foot to remind me to keep fighting...
so girls. keep fight. you are worth it. recovery is worth it. even if it seems far away.
love you all.
lis
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