believe.

today marks the two year anniversary since polly (from THIN) passed away. i did not personally know PA but am inspired by her and her story...she had a beautiful soul. so amazing in every way. i follow her caringbridge site, which now her sister updates every once in awhile & her motto was to "believe". i believe...i believe that one day i will recover and have a better life. i just have to work hard. recovery is a process. not an event.

this awful and debilitating disease takes so many beautiful women & men and it breaks my heart every time i hear of another passing. i personally know of two people from renfrew (jewls and melissa) who are now angels watching over all of us. it makes me think...is it really worth it? rationally, no. but ed makes it seem like it is. he tells us that "thin is in" and that the number on the scale determines our self worth. which is untrue...

due to recent events, i myself have been struggling but look to my angels to keep me fighting. my cousin who i love dearly and who is like a sister to me wrote this as her facebook status after i texted her about the superbowl:

"I can't help you fix yourself but at least I can say I tried.. I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life"...i dont know if this is about me, but i certainly feel like it is since she IS the person who stopped speaking to me when i went on meds and went to renfrew. ughhhh..this past week has been so emotionally draining and i honestly cannot wait until therapy on tuesday. i have so much to cover. i am just thankful i have this blog and you girlies as an outlet..and you understand.

so rip polly and all the other angels up there. i know you are looking down on me. love you to pieces...<3

lis