motivation. or lack there of.

i hope you all are having a splendid tuesday.

lately i have had absolutely no motivation to do anything. i stay in bed all day, up all night and then the cycle continues. the semester is nearing towards the end. i have a paper due tomorrow (haven't started it) and assignment on thurs and then a final next monday. i dont know if it is my depression that is keeping me in bed or the fact that it is freezing outside as well as in my house. probably my depression. i went back on my meds about a week and a half ago and they obviously take 3-4 weeks to show any results. lovely.

on a positive note, i have my support group tonight. i have become close with one of the women in the group. it's weird...shes 38 single mom and my best friend is 38 single mom and i met both in ED support groups. i have always connected better with older adults as i was an only child and hung out with adults most of my life. just thought it was a funny coincidence hehe. she and i offer each other support and have been talking a lot lately. she only lives 20 min away from me as my best friend lives 40. so its nice to have someone to talk to who is closer. i like going to group once a week. it allows me to not isolate in my house and be around people who get me. it makes me feel like i belong. sometimes it may be a negative evening, but often more than not, we all offer support to one another.

i am supposed to go to the boston ballet this weekend with this guy i have been seeing but i find myself wanting to skip out. he is getting really annoying...almost controlling. i am finding more similarities between him and my ex (who seriously effed me up). so im thinking i need to keep my distance and work on me. when i was talking to my best friend about him she was like "i hear some angst in your voice about all of this". and to be honest, he's not my prince charming and i think his feelings for me run deeper than mine for him. i just need to end it. he doesnt really understand the things i do and why i do them and just gets mad at me for them. so ya...not sure what to do on that one.

okay, so it is time for me to stop being a waste of life and do something today. shower then dunkin? sounds good to me. love you all.

xoxo

Lis