meditation..

tonight i attended my first true meditation class at a local yoga studio. one of my frew girls recommended it & i decided to check it out. i have not seen her in nearly 4 years and i was nervous to say the least. i didnt know how she would receive me and i was concerned about my appearance, as today is one of those days where i feel tubby -_- (as she would describe it) i walked in and saw her smiling face and we embraced each other not letting go for about a minute. tears rushed over me and i could tell she was doing the same. 4 years is way too long. i proceeded to register and we walked into the room. i laid my sticky mat down and sat anticipating the session. we joked a bit and she told her about her upcoming wedding. it was beyond wonderful to be in her presence again.

the instructor started out by telling us how to set up a meditation. using a salutation like a candle and you could either gaze at it or lightly close your eyes. she talked about saying a mantra to yourself and stating your intent of the meditation. after this, i began taking my straight posture and closed my eyes. she began the guided meditation. my thoughts came in and out and it was hard to focus. i wanted to constantly move..i was antsy and anxious. i tried to adjust myself and do a "body scan" to see where i had tension and release it. my back back and neck became instantly tense as i was more aware of my body. this is because i was trying too hard. in meditation you have to take the word "try" out.

the guided meditation was out the book "meditation for the love of it" and focused on the heart space. after a bit, she turned the lights out and it was silent. my thoughts instantly came in and out. i kept having to go back to my breath. breathing from my abdomen, not my chest. she rang the chime and we opened our eyes. my mind was clear and relaxed, but my body wasnt.

it was good for me to expand my horizons and try something new and foreign for me. to go outside of my box and use a new tool. i loved the awareness and mindfulness that had to take place. i want to go back and continue on this journey of meditation. it FORCES you to pay attention to your feelings.

namaste..