saving the world

i have realized a very important characteristic of myself that continues to show up in my life. for whatever reason, i think that i need to be "superwoman." i need to do everything, help everyone, get everything done on time, and do all of this perfectly. if i mess up or my work has the slightest flaw in it, i am automatically a failure at life. this is completely irrational thinking. for example, how does getting a B or C in a class make me a failure at everything in life? IT DOESN'T! my thinking is so black and white. there is no grey area. sometimes you finish first. sometimes last. but there are a lot of places in between and it is okay to be at one of those places in the middle.

along the lines of being "superwoman" i feel as if i have to help everyone and "fix" everyone. i guess that is partly why i have gone into the helping profession. on more than several occasions in my life, i will put all of my thought, feeling, time, and energy into helping someone and making sure they are okay. but while i am doing all of this, MY needs are not being met. i will run myself into the ground emotionally, mentally, and physically to the point where i am fragile and fall apart. but every superhero has an achilles heel. this is mine. out to save the world before i save myself. a wise professional in tx once told me...

"place the oxygen mask on yourself before you place the oxygen mask on the person next to you."

this is such a great analogy. i cannot help someone else if i am a hot mess. i cannot give someone my all until i cannot give anymore. it is not healthy nor fair to either party. how much can i give someone if i am not taking care of LISA?nourishing my body, getting the proper amount of sleep, taking time for myself, and doing things i enjoy. the correct answer is i cant give them much at all. i talked about this with my T today and i gained a lot of insight into why i do these things. why is it okay for someone else to deserve the world and not me? i am a human being and i have needs as well. so what makes me so different? that my friends, i am still trying to figure out.

moral of the story: Put oxygen mask on yourself first, then the person next to you. I cannot save you if you do not want to save yourself.

love love love you to pieces, my friends.

lis